I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there,” and it will move….Matt. 17:20-21
I began to pray a prayer, a simple prayer, weakly offered with only the tiniest modicum of faith: “God, show me who You really are.” I knew that my mind was messed up. I knew that in my grief over my past and my fear for my daughter’s future that I desperately needed to know the truth about God. Slowly, over time, something miraculous began to happen that can best be described as similar to what happened to Moses in Exodus 33: 18-23:
Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.” And the Lord said, “I will cause all of my goodness to pass in front of you and I will proclaim my Name, the LORD, in your presence”.
Moses asked to see God’s glory and God answered by showing Moses His goodness. By praying the simple prayer, “God, show me who you really are,” I was really asking, as Moses had, “Show me Your glory….show me your goodness.” God’s response to Moses was, “I will cause all of My goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim My Name, the LORD, in your presence.” God responded to my prayer the same way He responded to Moses. He began to “cause His goodness to pass in front of me” by suddenly opening my eyes to see His goodness in the midst of what had happened to me.
Instead of only seeing and remembering all of the horrible things, He began to open my eyes to His goodness and mercy in the midst of those things.
I began to see the miraculous provision that He made for me in providing my mind a way of escape.
I saw evidence of His goodness in some of the people that He had sent to me throughout my life,and other ways that he had provided for me, to ultimately bring me to a place where I would be safe enough to heal and go on with my life.
In answer to my prayer, God began to proclaim His own Name in my presence. To be able to see some of His provision over the years was to begin to see that He had not totally abandoned me. This realization allowed me to begin to open my heart and start receiving the truth that had the power to set me free. It was the beginning of a long journey, that I am still walking out.