I want to pull the covers over my head and hide from another day looming ahead of me – one that will undoubtedly be filled with the pain and confusion and ache of a winter that has stayed beyond its welcome.
I drag my aching body from the warmth and comfort of my bed that beckons me back even as I leave it, gaining no sense of renewed hope from a look outside that reveals yet another cold, gray, rainy day -one of many in a winter never-ending that seems to mimic the one inside my heart.
My eyes, my heart, my mind, my body – all are longing to welcome that change of season that promises to come and yet tarries long. It taunts me, making an appearance for a few hours or a day, and then vanishes back into the cold, gray, leaving me feeling like spring will never come.
It is precisely at this time each year, when I am wearied beyond what I think I can bear of the cold outside – when I am ready to give up and resign myself to living in this season of perpetual death -that spring, always. finally. comes.
“It will be here soon,” I whisper to my weary heart. At least, out there it will.
Because seasons do change.
The gray, heavy skies will eventually give way to abundant sunshine. Flowers will begin to spring up and the trees will reveal the new life that was germinating unseen within their brown branches all throughout the season of death. The dead grass will come to life again, and birds who have stayed hidden away all winter will return with their song that rejoices in the light and warmth of a new season.
But what about the winter inside my heart?
Will it change also, death giving way to new life? Or will my heart stay stuck here – barren and dead, stripped of life and resigned to a winter that stays – forever?
This I know: Seasons change – both outside and within our hearts.
For God Himself, who put this earth here and everything on it, created seasons to whisper to our weary hearts that our life seasons will not last forever.
So, even as my heart bears the heaviness of a winter that has lasted beyond what I think I can bear, I wait with expectant hope that the death will give way to new life – both out there and in here…. because winter was not created to last forever.
Winter was created to be the very catalyst for new life, for without death there cannot be new life at all – neither outside, nor within our weary, aching hearts.
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. John 12:24
So today, join me if you can – in the hope that this winter will end, and will give way to new life – both without and within, for winter was never created to last forever. It was created to bring new life out of death.
May our hearts return from being hidden away – to sing, like the birds, a song that rejoices in the light and warmth of a new season and to bear fruit out of weary death.